The Heroic Trap That Sneaked Up on Me
Once upon a time, in the not-so-distant world of leadership coaching, there lived a coach who, like any good coach, wanted to make everything better. Let's call this coach, well, me.
The Drama Triangle: A Quick Peek
You might be wondering, what on LinkedIn's green earth is the Drama Triangle? Don't worry; I won't overload you with data. Instead, let me serve you a bite-sized introduction.
• The Drama Triangle: A psychological model describing unhealthy dynamics.
• Roles: Victim, Persecutor, and the Hero.
• We'll focus on the Hero role.
The Hero: My Superpower Turned Achilles' Heel
In our story, the three primary roles are the Victim, the Persecutor, and, you guessed it, the Hero. I was stuck in the Hero role, and my quest to save everyone was far from heroic.
• Heroic tendencies: Believing you have all the answers, taking on too much responsibility, and rushing to the rescue.
• My journey as a leadership coach, realizing my heroic tendencies.
• The unintended consequences: fostering dependence instead of independence.
The Toxic System Created by the Hero
But here's the crucial part of the story: the Hero role isn't just a harmless savior. It's the architect of a toxic system where leaders and their teams tend to overwork, blame, gossip, and feel helpless.
• Leaders who keep telling their teams what to do and wonder why they don't do it.
• Leaders who struggle in creating accountability within their teams and within themselves
• Exhausted leaders who have lost their ability to see outside of their own perspective.
A Shift in Perspective: From Fixing to Facilitating
Yet, my own struggle as a Hero led me to a powerful revelation.
Leadership is not about fixing; it's about facilitating growth. It's not about being the Hero; it's about empowering others to become their own heroes. This model creates a culture of belonging, engagement, creativity, and ownership- all the qualities we need in today’s everchanging work environment.
Are You Trapped in the Hero Role?
I challenge you to question your role in the Drama Triangle and explore the possibilities of stepping back from the Hero persona. Imagine the freedom of letting your team take the lead, make mistakes, and grow stronger in the process. It's a shift from saving the day to lighting the path.
• Reflecting on your leadership style.
• The freedom of stepping back from the Hero role.
• Fostering heroes in others.
Conclusion: Embrace a New Narrative
If this story has left you intrigued, if you feel a tingling desire for a different approach, then my mission is accomplished. I invite you to reach out, not for a quick fix, but for a transformative journey of leadership growth.
So, dear LinkedIn readers, let's ditch the cape together and embrace a new narrative – one where leadership isn't about being the Hero but about fostering heroes in others. After all, the best stories are the ones we write together.
Categories: Leadership
